A Hand to Understand: Recent Struggles with Support

A Hand to Understand: Recent Struggles with Support

Hey guys, I’m having a dilemma, I’m happy to keep writing blogs but seriously lacking inspiration. My partner in crime obviously doesn’t understand what I’m about, his ideas for blogs include how things affect me, the bi-polar me.

As I’ve said before this isn’t my first idea of what could be going on with me and I’m currently waiting for an assessment to give me some new ideas, hopefully an answer too, for this reason id prefer to talk generally about things I do know, and what I know is what I’m living, and right now that’s the fight for answers and understanding, I’m at a stage in life that I’ve only just learnt I’m ill, never mind anything else. It’s all scary and confusing. I think I’ll touch on personal relationships, how my friendships and relationships have evolved over the past few years.
Stop worrying about bills, get 1000 fast. I am single, and for now think this is best for me, why throw someone else into this mix that is my life. I left home when I was 18, and had a boyfriend at that time, who was with me when I first started showing signs of mental illness (by the time I left home it was about 2years into the relationship and a lot of family drama too) our split wasn’t because of my mental health but I don’t think it helped. When I left home I moved into a women’s only homeless shelter, don’t mistake this for a refuge, I have been in 2 as a child but this wasn’t why I left home, I carried on going to college and working, I stayed in there for about 6months I lived in one room, there was another 11 people in this accommodation.

I was offered a rather large 2 bed flat, but when I moved in life changed for the worst, I didn’t leave my bed most of the time, moved a TV in there, ate in there everything, a clear sign of depression to those who know, and a boyfriend who didn’t understand. After much arguing and misunderstandings he got me my first pet. One thing I will always stand by, animals are amazing for mental health this is proven, they use dogs in SEN (special educational needs) units. They get you out of bed, thinking about the needs of the animal kind of helps me remember my own needs, this is obviously hindsight that makes me realise this I didn’t know it at the time and neither did he. In my life right now I have 3 close friends who I can tell anything and everything, and unbelievably still stand strong by my side, through crazy mood swings and shocking life conclusions but they truly love me and support me. Its quality not quantity.

Yves Rocher best sellers!

Dealing with Anxiety - An Intro

Dealing with Anxiety: An Intro

Ok guys, I am not a writer I’m not a professional I’m just someone trying to help.

My aim with these blogs is to express myself, I don’t know how everyone feels, I’ll never suggest anyones problems are less or worse than anybody elses, everyone deals differently.

I have had a full life in my 23years and definitely feeling the effect. I do have depression, anxiety, and a panic disorder, (this is not unusual when you have depression) this was at least my first diagnosis it would now appear I have bi-polar with something called disassociation, im still being educated on m y own illnesses so I don’t understands it all properly.I was recently asked what the hardest part of being bi-polar is, ill be honest I don’t have a clue, I can tell you what I find hard but this is based on my whole struggle. Who knows I if that’s because of my mental health.

One thing I find particularly hard is fighting for answers and help, as I don’t understand every part of my health, yes, you can google things or talk to your GP, but when you don’t understand yourself how can you express yourself? This is another niggle of mine, personal knowledge- I don’t know how to educate myself especially without a definite diagnosis.

There is a stigma attached to mental health, I don’t know why as 1in4 people have sort of mental health illness. Other peoples perception or understanding is often difficult for me to deal with. I have never and will never let this effect me but I still feel judged or dismissed. Unfortunately this isn’t just new people you meet, I have found this from professions too. Don’t let this discourage you though. You have a right to help, don’t ever let someone make you feel less than you are.

I have struggled getting the right help, admittedly I still don’t have it. Personally my first point of call was my parents, ill encourage anyone to confide in family and friends when life gets hard, as the saying goes ‘older and wiser’. Someone elses outside view will be different to yours often this is helpful. It will give you a clearer view of y ourself, things you may not have noticed. I call other peoples advice ‘the logical head’ its easier to think about solutions and help when you’re not stuck in the feelings. My next piece of advice is when you talk to your GP. Explain as best as you can or if you find this difficult try writing things down as and when you notice them and show that to your doctor.

Its not always easy to know what help is best for you, I personally sought councelling and waited 9 months for one. So, my suggestion is if you think it’d help then do it now. Waiting lists do vary between areas and the type of therapy that you’ll need. Now I can only speak from personal experience, I let mymental health take over my life. I didn’t have an understanding employer and lost my job. If you struggle be honest with employers, some have things in place for people like us.

I’ve found people ask me why I don’t have a social worker when I explain my troubles. You will only get a social worker if you get help from an agency where those provisions are in place. You can apply to the city council for one but I found I had to explain a lot in my first phone call, which made me very uncomfortable. I advise going through an organisation. Two I know of are the Richmond Fellowship and Creative Support. They do have waiting lists but life starts with the first step.

Its hard but true, the best help you’ll get is motivation. You need to help yourself and I honestly believe you’re not here to deal with more than you can handle. I for one will talk to and support anyone who asks for it. Don’t give up. See your GP. Help Yourself.